Rude Pick Up Lines

 

Will you lie on your back and open your crack?

So how many kids do you have?

Does the carpet match the drapes?

Can I lick your face?

You:So, what happened?
Her: To What?
You: To your face! Boo-yeah!

You: When did the accident happen?
Her: What accident, what are you talking about?
You: Oh I was just wondering why your face is so disfigured!

Was your Mom and Dad also their own brother and sister?

When was the last time you had a bath?

Hi, I’m [insert your name her]. I was hired by your friends to show you a good time.

You: What’s the difference between me and you?
Her: I don’t know. What’s the difference?
You: I’m hot and your not! [make sure to say this ironically

You: What’s got 2 thumbs and wants to jump your bones?
Her: I don’t know.
You: This guy [while making sure to point to yourself with your 2 thumbs].

I was going to ask if you’d like me to buy you a drink, but I’m more honest than that. What I want to know is if I buy you a drink, will you sleep with me?

Are you one of those girls that I have to pay for sexy time?

So how’s this going to work? Should I buy you a few drinks and should we get to know each other or should we just get down to it and bump uglies?

Wanna get down on it?