Dirty Text Messages

Dn’t txt bak if u r madly n luv wit me! Txt me bak if u lik me a little.

Wht’s long, hard and full of seamen?
Answer: A submarine

What’s big, round and full of milk.....don’t thnk of boobies
Answer: Coconuts

You:They say that 83% of girls/guys masturbate in the shower. The other 17% sing. And you know what they sing?
Her/Him: No, what do they sing
You: Oh, you don’t know, you must be part of that 83% then.

Me, u + no clothes, u knw it makes cents.

Had a dream about you last night, did you get a tattoo on your boob? In your dream you had one, just wondering if it’s the same in real life.

Was thinking of sending you a durty sms text message, but then realized that it would be better to send you a naughty picture instead [then send a picture]

If you read this text message, then you are going to start needing, wanting and falling in love with me, so stop it right now.....don’t read another bit.....you are only making it worse.....but you can break the curse...send this text to 3 other people right now.

You got nice hooters?

Hey cutie, what you doing? Wanna hang with me?